Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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