it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
