i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
