If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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