Grow some girl-balls and come out already
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It's never too late to be topless.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
