yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
