Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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