if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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