I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
