why didn't you poke me back
It's Friday. Sex?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
