i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
