Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
