I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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