he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
