It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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