Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
