nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
