my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
