i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
