I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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