i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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