i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
