Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
