In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
