Non-Jews are for practice
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
