I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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