Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize