We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize