I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
