So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
