I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
