So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
