no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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