honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
