Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize