It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
