yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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