The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
