is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's the barista slut.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
