? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize