I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
