Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
