I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
