paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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