People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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