i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
