Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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