Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
