Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
