No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
