she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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