oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize