just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
