chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize