Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
