ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
