"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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