I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize